Embodying Emotion in front of our Kids

Is it really that bad to let out a growl in front of them?

This might be an unpopular opinion, but here we go:

As mothers (or parents), it is okay for us to embody & display all types of emotion in front of our kids.

I invite you to pause before you carry on reading this and notice how this sits with you.

I’m going to speak from my own experience of parenthood, which started 5 years ago, and probably around the time when social media began to really become a portal for sharing and consuming information and misinformation. The info and misinfo that had we been born into the previous generation, we may have only learnt a tiny percentage of, if even. People telling us what is right, what is wrong, what’s acceptable, what’s not, what’s harmful and whats helpful... I think you know what I mean. I think it’s great, and that we are so lucky to be alive at this point time and have so many resources available to help us to our best and heal. But I also think that we should not put any of it on a pedestal. There is so much raised awareness around pretty much every area of our lives, which has lead to a lot more extremism and polarisation. But now I digress, and this is not what this piece of writing is about… I’m here to chat about the parenting box in our minds. I reckon it’s safe to say that there’s been a huge infiltration of “how to’s” due to the rise in Gentle Parenting among our generation (mostly millennial)—which, I’m not against. I resonate with Gentle Parenting, and practice it myself. But when you’re just another human navigating the madness that is parenthood (Motherhood, in my case) then inspiration can swing to overwhelm so freaking quickly (in my experience).

Parenting is wild. Like, the most fucking insane ride you will ever go on that apparently doesn’t ever really end. IYKYK. And if you don’t, well… I heard a quote the other day (can’t remember who it was by) that really resonated which I’ll share to help you understand. It went a little something like this:

When you become a parent, you’ll soon realise the journey is not so much about your child, but more about you.

This basically means that for most of us, before becoming parents, we naively anticipate parenthood to be challenging because of having to help our children process their feelings and thoughts around life as they grow up, but that when we actually become parents, we soon learn how much self growth is required of us and that some of the hardest parts of parenting are actually navigating our own inner shit.

Now, if you’re anything like me, you’re going to be the type of person who gets totally sucked into that rabbit hole of learning as much as possible about parenting in order to create—or influence—the healthiest possible outcome for your children. Throw in the fact that you’re particularly interested in presence, anything mindfulness related, and deem yourself a “cycle-breaker”, and you’ve got a potential recipe for over-fixation and unhealthy obsession. Hi Me!